where are you going and what are you doing?

at this point it's just going to be random thoughts and unsaid buzzed rambles...

I mean, where are you really going if you still don't know? 
Are you sure that's the direction you want to be headed? 

My thoughts aren't BIG enough right now.
I'm just thinking journal-like thoughts, about facebook posts and sex and who I'm dating.

I keep getting lost in the now. And I know they say that's what you're supposed to do,
but it's really not because you wind up unprepared and clueless.
It's definitely worth it if you make it so,
but sometimes, infact often, you make a much larger mess than any positive value.
And sure you definitely learn from that gigantic mess but I'm honestly over the humongous life lessons.
I know I need many more, but if there's a way to prevent the mistake ahead of time,
count me in.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going no where.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just not on the same ladder as everyone else.
Sometimes it feels like nothing I do will ever be recognized or good enough.
Maybe that's because I so often take care of those around me instead of just insisting on my many passions.