This should be a rough draft but its not

I don't really know where to begin, today.

I feel like for the first time in at least five years
I'm finally getting to know who I am again.
I'm not letting a damn thing or soul control who I am, except me.
I'm ready to set sail on a long voyage; a self discovery.

I'm doing this in a matter of ways,
writing, reading, calling old friends, taking my cat on walks...
I've been allowing myself to go back to pieces in my past and take a step back.
Maybe I even take the time to heal the image.
It's not that it's particularly working perfectly.
But it's certainly doing something.

I have my sights higher.
I have goals and hopes.
Now the world isn't just dark and dreary, but there are people along the way to
pick me back up when I fall.
This is life.

So who am I?
Recently people at random will actually genuinely tell me what I should be doing.
I think they may have a point;
Nine years of photography...seems to me, that's a fairly consistent hobby.
But even if I've figured out what to do, there's more to life than that, too.
What am I doing with it?
Currently, nothing. I feel like a waste.
This often depresses me and digs me a deeper hole.
But I've also been spending time alone, collecting, organizing,
making sure to be true to myself! Always.

I know I'm slightly emotionally overwhelming,
passionate,
extremely compassionate,
anxious, scattered yet organized, and driven.
But are these characteristics who I am?
Nah, I think it's more the girl in me who wants to fix problems for the people I love,
that makes me who I am.
I'm responsible, stubborn, and very independent.
I'm afraid of many things, but recently, I've been facing my fears one by one.

I think it's this random jumble of things that define me.
It's hard to take a step back and see exactly who I am.
I haven't seen this woman, well, ever so it's a gigantic wake up call.
"Here's Reality!" the wake up call seems to say.

It's funny how reality changes. You can be so stuck in a picture that you forget there's stuff outside.
I certainly let all the windows fog over and I never cleared the fog and looked outside.
I am now. I see the world.
It's mine.
And I'm coming to get it.