Unleash the compass in your heart and you will find a life not ran by
society's judgmental settings or insecurity's blindness
but by a true and uncompromised intuition.
It's then that you find what you're looking for.
Little do you know and despite what you may think you're not looking for perfection.
You're looking for the materpiece of balance, compromise and understanding;
no matter who you are.
When you don't wonder if the other accepts you, that's it.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Connecting with the girl inside
I have been so in my head lately.
Battling my past, present, and future;
trying to reconnect with the girl who used to wear ties as belts and died her hair a different color every month. I'd also like to connect with the girl who used to write poems on a regular basis whether or not anyone other than her read them.
I wouldn't even mind reconnecting with the curious one. I was so overwhelmingly confident.
I was determined to do what I wanted and felt that no one or thing could stop me.
Where did she go?
I've spent a lot of time over the years erasing bad memories.
I realize now that not all bad memories need to be expunged.
Scars need to remain so that you learn from your mistakes.
So I'm licking my wounds and building my nest for a better future.
I just can't lose her again. Being this strange emotional bouncy ball without self purpose just isn't for me.
I'm starting by writing again. I want to write constantly even if I have nothing to say but whatever strange thoughts are in my head. Maybe if I get them all out there might be something special.
My husband and I found an old poem of mine, written when I was in eighth grade. It's one of the most depressing poems I've ever written, but there's such raw emotion in it; we're creating a song based off of it.
I could be a song writer if I stopped building walls around my thoughts.
I don't need to limit myself.
No one thinks of myself as I do, and no one cares enough to think one way or the other so might as well try it out, right?
I feel I am beginning to have a heart again. I may even act on my own instincts now and not just fight myself inside over stupid intuitions. I'm dreaming, but I don't want out. Ever.
It's amazing to have someone to share what I've learned with though, I never knew how important it was for someone other than parents to have faith in you. I do now.
Battling my past, present, and future;
trying to reconnect with the girl who used to wear ties as belts and died her hair a different color every month. I'd also like to connect with the girl who used to write poems on a regular basis whether or not anyone other than her read them.
I wouldn't even mind reconnecting with the curious one. I was so overwhelmingly confident.
I was determined to do what I wanted and felt that no one or thing could stop me.
Where did she go?
I've spent a lot of time over the years erasing bad memories.
I realize now that not all bad memories need to be expunged.
Scars need to remain so that you learn from your mistakes.
So I'm licking my wounds and building my nest for a better future.
I just can't lose her again. Being this strange emotional bouncy ball without self purpose just isn't for me.
I'm starting by writing again. I want to write constantly even if I have nothing to say but whatever strange thoughts are in my head. Maybe if I get them all out there might be something special.
My husband and I found an old poem of mine, written when I was in eighth grade. It's one of the most depressing poems I've ever written, but there's such raw emotion in it; we're creating a song based off of it.
I could be a song writer if I stopped building walls around my thoughts.
I don't need to limit myself.
No one thinks of myself as I do, and no one cares enough to think one way or the other so might as well try it out, right?
I feel I am beginning to have a heart again. I may even act on my own instincts now and not just fight myself inside over stupid intuitions. I'm dreaming, but I don't want out. Ever.
It's amazing to have someone to share what I've learned with though, I never knew how important it was for someone other than parents to have faith in you. I do now.
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