The pile up

Years and years of setting things aside.
Just letting everything pile up,
up to the sky, I swear.

Lined paper, magazines,
Pillowcases and candles.
Old love letters and school work.
Wedding gifts and prom dresses.
Everything I ever owned, I had.
Including locked up emotions,
never talked about so forgotten,
I believe.

But so much pent up anger has to come from somewhere.
I was so sheltered.
So protected from knowing what really happened.
I just kinda learned that process;
bad things happen, ignore them and move on.

I'm realizing now, that wasn't such a good thing.
It's a lot of stress if you never really sort through it all.
Get explanations for what you can, throw away the rest.
Even if you know it will be useful another day.

The divorce really messed me up.
Not 'cause I experienced it,
but because I didn't.
I didn't understand how to take relationship ups and downs.
I'm only just beginning to slightly have a clue.