decision making, anyone?

generally speaking, i'm a very decisive person.
i may fret and teeter over a decision that needs to be made,
but i usually take the most logical route and
semi-randomly decide that that's the way i should go and i don't change my mind.

i think this is why some people really like me;
because i'll make a decision quickly and stick to it.
...its also why some others don't like me at all, probably.

i mention this all because when it comes to big life decisions, it's not that easy.
i usually churn over those ideas for weeks or months before finalizing a decision
unless it is freaky spontaneous and i just feel it.

people say "follow your heart" but that's harder said than done.
sometimes it's like your heart is ripping at the seams and taking you all different places.
do you go with logical, smart, emotional, or comfortable?
every route looks just a good as the next.

this is where patience is key (i think).
things just naturally have a way of falling into place if you don't rush them.
but the waiting...
it's so difficult to just trust.

should i stay or should i go? like the sex pistols wrote.
and not just in the obvious physical sense, but in all of life.

and then some decisions take control over your brain.
they become much larger than an idea,
in fact it's as though they become the conductor of your thoughts.
why is this?
they aren't all necessarily that important.
and then, since the decision is being your conductor,
you start to get nervous about absolutely any decision.
frustrating;
it really is.

and then there are times when it feels best to let decisions be made arbitrarily.
but what is the best way to make a decision?
and how do you know that you've made the best decision?
and more so, how do you deal with the results of decisions that you have made?
ah, this is life.

i do find comfort in being decisive though. even if i may make bad decisions,
at least i didn't waste time fretting over it and staying in an indifferent state.

i'm not really sure what i'm saying with all this.
just rambling.
all i know right now is that it's terribly difficult to take a step without knowing what it looks like.